My name is Jasper. I got black hair. It’s pretty shiny.
I’m in 5th grade. Ms. Abernathy is my teacher. I got big eyes.
Green like grass. A lotta kids say they sparkle. I dunno why
they say that. I look at ‘em, I don’t see any sparks or sparkles.
So I’m shiny and sparkly. Fine. I’m also skinny. Shiny,
sparkly, and skinny. Three S’s like a snake. SSSSSS. Whoa.
Look at that. More S’s. I kinda do wacky stuff like that. I guess
cuz I’m crazy. That’s what all the kids say. Too bad crazy don’t
start with an S. Then I’d be srazy. Cool, huh?
Ok—so Ms. Abernathy is making the whole class write a
paper. It’s supposed ta be on how the school year went.
Something like how I saw it, through my eyes.
I wrote one. My paper had one big sentence in it. Like
I’m skinny Jasper with shiny hair and my grass-green
eyes sparkle so bright, I didn’t see anything at school all year
I handed it in. First one. Yessss. I’m so cool. Mad cool.
That’s what the 6th graders say.
Right after I handed it in and gave out high fives all the
way back to my seat, Ms. Abernathy told me to come back up to
the front. Then, at the same time, the whole class said, “Uh-oh!”
real loud. Not cool—not cool. My face got hot. And red. Like
She gave me my paper back. Told me it “isn’t done.”
Fine then. Whatda she know? I’m way smarter than she is. Or
anyone else in class.
Now I’m at my house. We just ate dinner. I go to my
bedroom and do this retarded paper. Wha—what’s she want me
She’s gotta lot of nerve. “It’s not done.” Who does she
think she is? Fine then. She wants another paper. I’ll give her
Ok…. So…. So…. Ok.
My name’s Jasper. 5th grade. Abernathy’s class.
Once when I was in the library, little Justine told a joke.
I laughed. “Shhh,” said the librarian. But I couldn’t stop
laughin’. She kept shushing me. “Shhh. Shhhh.” I couldn’t
help it. I fell outta my chair. I rolled around on the floor,
laughin’. “Shhh. Shhhh.” Her shushing me only made it worse.
I laughed so hard I cried. My gut hurt. My face hurt. I had
tears, snot. I couldn’t breathe.
And once, when I was on the monkey bars, Frankie
double-dared me to jump out to the 3rd bar. I jumped out with all
my might. I fell on my back. I tried to breathe. No air would
come in. I did not understand why I couldn’t breathe in. Wha—
what happened to the air? All I could see was blue sky. Some
white puffs were floatin’ by.
One of the puffs looked like a clown. A fat clown. With
a fat nose. I could hear the other kids. It was kinda scary. They
got loud then quiet. Loud. Quiet. Was the librarian shushing
And once. When I was at the lunch room. I was on
Friday. Pizza Friday. I was eatin’ hurried. I bit my tongue.
Ahhh. This was the worst pain ever. Tears came fast. I closed
my eyes. They still came fast. I spit out my pizza. I couldn’t
see. But I heard the other kids. Oooh, gross. Yuky. That’s
nasty. One was a naughty word. I’m not allowed to tell you. I
opened my eyes. Everyone was laughin’. I didn’t like feelin’
One time I had to go to the bathroom in a hurry. I went,
then came back down the hall. I opened the class door fast. I
went in even faster. The door hit my head. I fell but hung onto
the door handle. My head got hot. My face got red. Like fire. I
heard a loud boom-boom-boom sound. I got sparkles on the
inside of my eyelids. They were bright. They moved around
everywhere. I felt my head drippin’. I wasn’t cryin’—but
drippin’. I didn’t understand why my head dripped. It was
warm. I remember someone put a towel on my face. It got wety
red. Then I went to sleep.
Well. That’s what happened at school this year.
I’m the shiniest, sparkliest, skinniest kid in the whole